Google Readers Discover French Satire
Google Readers Discover French Satire, Immediately Demand It Be Arrested for Being Too French “We thought it was a…
RATP Announces Line 15 to Cebu: Delays Expected Before Construction Begins
Commuters are told the new line will arrive on schedule, which is to say never, and that this is fine…
Paris Airports Expect First Traffic Dip Since Covid As Fuel Prices Soar, Travellers Rediscover The Ancient Art Of Staying Home
Groupe ADP now expects passenger numbers at Charles de Gaulle and Orly to slip slightly in 2026 after summer traffic…
Dachshunds Seize The Champs-Elysees In Paris Sausage Walk, Avenue Briefly Becomes The Most Elegant Hot Dog Stand In Europe
The charity parade closed the world’s most famous avenue to cars so that hundreds of low-slung dogs could stroll 1.4…
Netflix Challenge At The Foot Of The Eiffel Tower Pits 150 Contestants Against A Vault, Only One Wins, The Rest Return To Their Day Jobs As Ordinary Thieves Of Time
Inspired by the series Lupin, the event on Wednesday, October 21, sends 150 hopefuls to crack a vault, with a…
Paris Museums Offer Seances And Ghost Hunts For Halloween, The Spirits Of The Hotel de la Marine Request Union Representation
The Rodin Museum plans an after-hours night around The Gates of Hell on October 31, while the Hotel de la…
Montparnasse Tower Closes For 700 Million Euro Makeover With Rooftop Farm, Parisians Finally Hope To Stop Calling It Ugly
The famously unloved skyscraper is getting glass cladding, a rooftop farm and a replanted plaza with 1,000 trees, raising the…
Paris Mayor Promises 1,000 New Pedestrian Streets, Parisian Drivers Begin Learning To Walk Again
Emmanuel Gregoire, elected in March, pledges a thousand more car-free streets and a dozen new parks in a city whose…
Parc de l’Etrange Fills Parc Andre-Citroen With Fog And Performers For Halloween, Parisians Say It Feels Exactly Like The Metro At Rush Hour
The Halloween stroll through fog, sets and costumed performers runs from October 16 to 31 in the 15th arrondissement, though…
Guide to Switching Energy and Internet Providers in France Reveals It Takes 15 Minutes, Which Is Roughly How Long It Takes to Find Your Bank Details
The Local France explains the 12-character RIO, a code every French household can now carry in its heart and nowhere…
France Deploys 3,000 Substitute Teachers to Fix a Teacher Shortage, Immediately Creating a Shortage of Substitute Teachers Elsewhere
Education Minister promises the reinforcements will arrive ‘within the next hours’ at 114 priority schools, where students have been asking…
French Diesel Now Costs 2.40 Euros a Litre, and Motorists Welcome Government Plan to Refund Them for the Pain Instead of the Price
Opinion writer warns of a populist ‘oil fire’ in 2027 as pump taxes include everything except a receipt for the…
Le Pen Promises 140 Billion Euros in Savings to Prevent French Default, Offering Voters the Rare Chance to Choose Between Two Numbers
The deficit is 5.1 per cent, the forecast is 5.4 per cent, and the borrowing plan is 340 billion euros,…
Saint-Denis Mayor Becomes Student Icon After Standing Between Pupils and Police, Immediately Discovers That Being an Icon Is Mostly Paperwork
Bally Bagayoko, 53, tells CNN he is ‘not a hero’, a statement that is, by tradition, the final step before…
Intermarche Prepares 700,000 Plush Vegetarian Wolves After Discovering France Will Queue for a Toy That Refuses to Eat Anything
The supermarket’s Christmas hero will cost 19.90 euros, and its president already fears running out, a sentence last heard from…
Foreign Residents Cross Europe With Expired Card, Receipt and Prayer, as the Humble Recepisse Becomes France’s Most Travelled Document
Border agents catch one expired carte de sejour out of four checks, proving the system works exactly one quarter of…
Edouard Philippe Pledges to ‘Halve Legal Immigration’, Offers Few Details and Declines to Rule Out a Referendum on the Subject, a Perfect Centrist Hat Trick
The Horizons candidate tells France 2 that ‘immigration is too high’ and that halving it ‘does not mean reducing it…
Guide to 16 Songs Needed to Survive a French Dancefloor Warns Foreigners That Learning the Words Is Optional but Standing Still Is a Crime
The Local France lists the classics from Johnny to Jul, and advises that ‘you don’t need to know every word’,…
The Local France Asks Readers Why They Have Not Moved to France, Receiving a Reply Consisting Mostly of the Word ‘Prefecture’
Survey invites those who want to move, or have decided against it, to describe obstacles that are practical, political, financial…
Paris Has a New Mayor; City Begins Complaining About Him Before He Has Found the Light Switch
The handover at the Hotel de Ville gives residents a fresh name to blame for the same bus New Mayor…
Paris Spent 1.4 Billion Euros Cleaning the Seine and Parisians Remain Unconvinced, at No Extra Charge
A historic river clean-up meets the one natural resource the city has never run short of, which is doubt Seine…
Seven Paris Buses Arrive at Once After Forty-Minute Wait; Passengers Asked to Choose a Favourite
The phenomenon of the convoy returns to the boulevards, giving riders the full fleet or nothing at all Paris Buses…
Paris Triples Parking Fees for SUVs; Owners Insist the Vehicle Is ‘Basically a Clio, Emotionally’
After a referendum on heavy cars, drivers of large 4x4s in the 16th arrondissement discover a sudden attachment to modesty…
Paris Becomes Global Capital of Cycling; Pedestrians Report It From Behind a Lamppost
The bike plan has filled the city with riders, and those on foot are learning to cross the cycle lane…
Paris Air Now Cleaner Than London’s; Parisians Light a Cigarette to Restore Balance
A ranking that puts the capital ahead of its rivals on air quality is received on cafe terraces through a…
Candidate Proposes Returning Cars to the Seine Quays; Man Who Has Sat There Since 2017 Declines to Move
A campaign plan to reopen the riverside roads meets the picnickers, joggers and bottle-openers who have settled the territory Seine…
Three Years After the E-Scooter Ban, Parisians Miss Having Something to Trip Over
The city that voted the rental scooters off its pavements reflects on a quieter life and a lingering emptiness at…
Swimming in the Seine Is Now Official; Parisians Gather on Bridges to Watch Tourists Do It
The river opens to bathers with a view of the Eiffel Tower, and locals take up their preferred position, which…
Notre-Dame Gets a 55 Million Dollar Green Makeover; Tourists Ask Whether the Trees Are Original
A plan to surround the cathedral with planting and shade promises a cooler forecourt and a new place to queue…
Seine Booksellers Refuse to Stock the Uncle Book Until the Royal Brothers Make Up
The green-box bouquinistes along the Quai de Conti say a book that splits a family must wait on the shelf…
Montmartre Portrait Painters Offer to Paint Both Royal Brothers on One Canvas
Street artists of the Place du Tertre say a double portrait would force the princes to sit still together for…
Eiffel Tower Lift Operator Says Royal Brothers Would Reconcile Between the Second Floor and the Top
A veteran lift attendant has watched thousands of families make up in the glass box to the summit, and he…
Louvre Guard Reports the Mona Lisa Has Been Smiling Knowingly Since the Royal Traitor Story
A gallery attendant who has stood beside the most famous painting in the world for fifteen years says the lady…
Metro Accordion Player Adds Royal Traitor Waltz to His Line 4 Repertoire
A busker who has played the same carriages for twenty years composes a sad little tune for two brothers and…
Saint-Germain Waiter Refuses to Seat Royal Brothers at Separate Tables
A famously stern cafe waiter says in Paris you do not come to a terrace to avoid your brother, you…
Paris Fashion Week Designer Unveils Traitor Collection With Matching Coats That Refuse to Button
A young Marais label sends models down the runway in pairs of coordinated outfits that will not fasten to each…