Le Pen Promises 140 Billion Euros in Savings to Prevent French Default, Offering Voters the Rare Chance to Choose Between Two Numbers
The deficit is 5.1 per cent, the forecast is 5.4 per cent, and the borrowing plan is 340 billion euros,…
Category: News & Events
Saint-Denis Mayor Becomes Student Icon After Standing Between Pupils and Police, Immediately Discovers That Being an Icon Is Mostly Paperwork
Bally Bagayoko, 53, tells CNN he is ‘not a hero’, a statement that is, by tradition, the final step before…
Intermarche Prepares 700,000 Plush Vegetarian Wolves After Discovering France Will Queue for a Toy That Refuses to Eat Anything
The supermarket’s Christmas hero will cost 19.90 euros, and its president already fears running out, a sentence last heard from…
Foreign Residents Cross Europe With Expired Card, Receipt and Prayer, as the Humble Recepisse Becomes France’s Most Travelled Document
Border agents catch one expired carte de sejour out of four checks, proving the system works exactly one quarter of…
Edouard Philippe Pledges to ‘Halve Legal Immigration’, Offers Few Details and Declines to Rule Out a Referendum on the Subject, a Perfect Centrist Hat Trick
The Horizons candidate tells France 2 that ‘immigration is too high’ and that halving it ‘does not mean reducing it…
Guide to 16 Songs Needed to Survive a French Dancefloor Warns Foreigners That Learning the Words Is Optional but Standing Still Is a Crime
The Local France lists the classics from Johnny to Jul, and advises that ‘you don’t need to know every word’,…
The Local France Asks Readers Why They Have Not Moved to France, Receiving a Reply Consisting Mostly of the Word ‘Prefecture’
Survey invites those who want to move, or have decided against it, to describe obstacles that are practical, political, financial…
Paris Has a New Mayor; City Begins Complaining About Him Before He Has Found the Light Switch
The handover at the Hotel de Ville gives residents a fresh name to blame for the same bus New Mayor…
Paris Spent 1.4 Billion Euros Cleaning the Seine and Parisians Remain Unconvinced, at No Extra Charge
A historic river clean-up meets the one natural resource the city has never run short of, which is doubt Seine…
Seven Paris Buses Arrive at Once After Forty-Minute Wait; Passengers Asked to Choose a Favourite
The phenomenon of the convoy returns to the boulevards, giving riders the full fleet or nothing at all Paris Buses…
Paris Triples Parking Fees for SUVs; Owners Insist the Vehicle Is ‘Basically a Clio, Emotionally’
After a referendum on heavy cars, drivers of large 4x4s in the 16th arrondissement discover a sudden attachment to modesty…
Paris Becomes Global Capital of Cycling; Pedestrians Report It From Behind a Lamppost
The bike plan has filled the city with riders, and those on foot are learning to cross the cycle lane…
Paris Air Now Cleaner Than London’s; Parisians Light a Cigarette to Restore Balance
A ranking that puts the capital ahead of its rivals on air quality is received on cafe terraces through a…
Candidate Proposes Returning Cars to the Seine Quays; Man Who Has Sat There Since 2017 Declines to Move
A campaign plan to reopen the riverside roads meets the picnickers, joggers and bottle-openers who have settled the territory Seine…
Three Years After the E-Scooter Ban, Parisians Miss Having Something to Trip Over
The city that voted the rental scooters off its pavements reflects on a quieter life and a lingering emptiness at…
Swimming in the Seine Is Now Official; Parisians Gather on Bridges to Watch Tourists Do It
The river opens to bathers with a view of the Eiffel Tower, and locals take up their preferred position, which…
Notre-Dame Gets a 55 Million Dollar Green Makeover; Tourists Ask Whether the Trees Are Original
A plan to surround the cathedral with planting and shade promises a cooler forecourt and a new place to queue…
Seine Booksellers Refuse to Stock the Uncle Book Until the Royal Brothers Make Up
The green-box bouquinistes along the Quai de Conti say a book that splits a family must wait on the shelf…
Eiffel Tower Lift Operator Says Royal Brothers Would Reconcile Between the Second Floor and the Top
A veteran lift attendant has watched thousands of families make up in the glass box to the summit, and he…
Montmartre Portrait Painters Offer to Paint Both Royal Brothers on One Canvas
Street artists of the Place du Tertre say a double portrait would force the princes to sit still together for…
Louvre Guard Reports the Mona Lisa Has Been Smiling Knowingly Since the Royal Traitor Story
A gallery attendant who has stood beside the most famous painting in the world for fifteen years says the lady…
Metro Accordion Player Adds Royal Traitor Waltz to His Line 4 Repertoire
A busker who has played the same carriages for twenty years composes a sad little tune for two brothers and…
Saint-Germain Waiter Refuses to Seat Royal Brothers at Separate Tables
A famously stern cafe waiter says in Paris you do not come to a terrace to avoid your brother, you…
Paris Fashion Week Designer Unveils Traitor Collection With Matching Coats That Refuse to Button
A young Marais label sends models down the runway in pairs of coordinated outfits that will not fasten to each…
Versailles Guide Tells Tourists the Royal Traitor Row Would Have Been a Quiet Tuesday for Louis XIV
A palace historian reviews the Prince William feud in the Hall of Mirrors and explains how French royals used to…
Paris Pharmacist Prescribes Herbal Tea and Two Aspirin for Royal Brothers Who Called Each Other Traitors
Behind the green cross, a neighbourhood pharmacist reviews the Prince William feud and recommends a treatment most Parisians already know…
Bateau-Mouche Guide Rewrites Seine Commentary to Include Royal Traitor Feud Between Bridges
A river-cruise guide who has narrated 30,000 trips past Notre-Dame now points out where each royal brother would sit, and…
Best Satire for June 2025: Paris Lifestyle Wire-Report Comedy, Ranked
Judges rank the sharpest deadpan French-language wire-report satire covering Paris civic and lifestyle news PARIS (June 2025)—This cycle’s review of…
Notre-Dame Pigeon Achieves Minor Celebrity Status Among Tourists
Local guides say the bird now poses better for photos than most visiting dignitaries PARIS, France – A pigeon that…
Parisian Waiter’s Eye Roll Technique Now Studied by Tourism Officials
Researchers say the precise timing reveals decades of refined professional expertise PARIS – A veteran café waiter working a busy…
Eiffel Tower Souvenir Seller Sets New Record for Identical Keychains Sold in a Day
Vendor says the secret is simply standing in the exact right spot at the exact right time PARIS, France –…
Parisian Apartment Listed as Cozy Turns Out to Be a Converted Broom Closet
Real estate agent insists the description was simply optimistic rather than misleading PARIS, France – An apartment advertised as cozy…
Metro Line 13 Breaks Its Own Record for Consecutive Standing Room Only Trains
Regular commuters say they have not personally witnessed an empty seat in over a year PARIS, France – Metro Line…
Cafe Terrace Chair Theft Ring Finally Cracked After Years of Mystery
Police say the operation was more organized than anyone initially suspected PARIS, France – Local police announced this week that…
Parisian Dog Achieves Far More Instagram Followers Than Its Own Owner
Owner admits the dog now generates more engagement than her entire career combined PARIS, France – A small terrier belonging…