What We Collect, What We Do With It, And Why Margaux Had To Lie Down After Writing This
This is the Privacy Policy for The Paris Fool, an English-language satirical publication at 48 Rue Saint-Honore, 75001 Paris, France. It was written by Margaux de Vaucouleurs, Deputy Editor, who wishes to state for the record that she has done her best and that this is, in fact, compliant with the General Data Protection Regulation and French national law. The jokes do not void the policy. The policy is real. Margaux is real. The jokes are also real. This footnote is not part of the legal document.
What We Collect
When you visit The Paris Fool, our servers automatically log your IP address, browser type, referring page, and the precise moment you arrived, which we note with no particular judgment but with mild statistical interest. If you submit a comment, contact us, or sign up for our newsletter, we collect what you give us. If you decline to give us anything, we collect that too, in the form of a small sad notation in the analytics, like a table for two with only one chair occupied.
How We Use It
Personal data is used to operate the site, respond to inquiries, send newsletters that we sincerely promise will not become weekly (the current frequency is “when Henri remembers”), and meet our legal obligations under French and EU law. We do not sell personal data. We have considered it. The market rate is insulting. We are a satirical newspaper, not a data broker. The distinction matters to us, though we note it does not always matter to the internet at large.
Cookies
We use cookies. Some are essential to site function. Some measure analytics. None of them are edible, despite a long-running dispute with the boulangerie downstairs who believes the word should be retired from technological use. For the full breakdown, see our Cookies Policy, which Margaux also wrote and which she also considers her finest regulatory achievement.
Your Rights Under GDPR
If you live in the European Economic Area, you have the right to access, correct, delete, restrict, or port your personal data, and to object to processing. These rights are real. You may exercise them by writing to our Contact page or calling +33698824738 during reasonable French working hours, which exclude lunch, the entirety of August, the concept of Friday afternoons, and any morning where it is raining in a particularly evocative way.
Third Parties
We use standard analytics tools and may embed content from social media platforms. Those platforms have their own privacy policies, which Margaux recommends reading aloud as a cure for insomnia, though she notes they are legally binding in ways that reading them aloud does not diminish. We do not transfer your data to third parties for marketing purposes without consent. We have received offers. We have declined them with varying degrees of rudeness depending on Henri’s mood that day.
Data Retention
We keep what we need for as long as we need it and not longer. Newsletter subscribers may unsubscribe at any time via the link in any email. You may also send a strongly worded letter in any official EU language, including, regrettably, English, which Margaux will acknowledge in three to five working days and act on immediately.
Updates
This policy may be updated. Material changes will be flagged on the homepage. Non-material changes will be added quietly in the great French administrative tradition of pretending something has always been this way. Margaux will know. She will not tell anyone. That is also a French administrative tradition.
— Signed, Margaux de Vaucouleurs, Deputy Editor, The Paris Fool. Compliant as of this version. Not happy about it, but compliant.
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The Paris Fool — 48 Rue Saint-Honore, 75001 Paris, France. Tel: +33698824738.