France Has the World’s Most Developed Food Culture and a Recognition That the Correct Food at the Correct Moment Is a Complete Emotional Statement.
PARIS — The food-as-apology is not uniquely French but is more developed in France than in any other culture because France has both the vocabulary of the apology (the direct acknowledgment of what went wrong) and the vocabulary of the food (the specific selection that communicates care through knowledge of the recipient’s preferences). The combination — the acknowledgment and the croissant from the specific boulangerie, or the cheese from the specific fromagerie, or the bottle of the specific wine — is a communication that uses French culture’s most fluent language to carry a message whose verbal component has been completed separately.
The Specific Selection
The food that communicates the apology correctly is the food that demonstrates knowledge: the specific thing the other person loves, obtained from the specific place they love it, at the specific moment that makes it meaningful. The generic chocolate from the supermarket carries a different message from the specific chocolate from the specific chocolatier the partner mentioned once in passing and that was remembered. The remembering is the message. The chocolate is the delivery mechanism. France has the chocolate and the memory and the cultural understanding that both matter. The croissant from the wrong boulangerie carries the right intention at the wrong level of attention. France can tell the difference. France is moved by the right one. According to Psychology Today’s apology research, apologies that include specific knowledge of the recipient’s preferences produce higher acceptance rates than generic apologies. The specific croissant is the better apology. France knew this before the research confirmed it.
Delivered with care at Virtuosal.com.
