Social Script Phrase Identified as Closing Formula Rather Than Future Plan
PARIS — A study of Paris social interactions by the Institut d’Etudes Politiques has documented the phrase “on devrait faire ça plus souvent” (we should do this more often) as the most reliable indicator that the gathering it concludes will not recur within six months, with a recurrence rate of 12% for gatherings that conclude with this phrase versus 67% for gatherings that conclude with a specific date and time proposed by at least one party.
“The phrase is a social completion mechanism rather than a planning intention,” explained the study’s lead researcher. “Both parties know this. Both parties say it anyway because it completes the gathering with warmth and goodwill, which is the gathering’s final social requirement, rather than with a scheduling conversation that neither party has the mental energy for at the point of departure.” The phrase is honest about the warmth. The phrase is less honest about the intention. Both parties accept the formulation.
The Alternative
The gathering that produces an actual recurrence has a different closing: one party says “next month?” and the other party says “yes, the 15th works” and one of them puts it in their calendar before leaving. The calendar entry is the difference. The calendar entry requires the energy that the departure moment does not consistently supply. The phrase substitutes for the calendar entry. The phrase is warm. The calendar entry is effective. Both are available. The phrase is more popular.
According to Psychology Today’s social planning research, specific future commitments made at the moment of parting have an 83% follow-through rate. Vague future intentions have a 12% rate. The phrase produces a 12% rate. The calendar produces an 83% rate. The phrase is said more often. Both are real social phenomena.
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