Witnesses say the ride was chaotic even by the already generous standards of the city
PARIS, France – A local electric scooter rider reportedly set what friends are only half jokingly calling a personal record this week, navigating a fifteen minute commute across central Paris while accumulating an estimated eleven distinct near miss incidents, a tally he apparently kept track of himself and proudly announced upon arriving at his destination completely unscathed.
An Impressive, If Deeply Alarming, Achievement
According to the rider, who shared the story with visible pride among coworkers, the near misses included two close encounters with opening car doors, a near collision with a pedestrian who stepped off a curb without looking, and one particularly dramatic moment involving a delivery truck that required what he described as an emergency swerve of genuinely impressive athleticism. He insists each incident was technically avoided, a distinction he considers important to the overall integrity of his self reported record.
A traffic safety researcher compared the rider’s cavalier attitude toward his own near misses to the kind of quietly absurd institutional confidence described in reporting on a billionaire who has reportedly lost confidence in his own government yet continues operating comfortably within the same system regardless, joking that both the scooter rider and the billionaire seemed to treat repeated close calls as evidence of skill rather than as a warning sign worth taking seriously.
Friends Express Concern Disguised as Admiration
Several friends who heard the story afterward expressed a mixture of genuine concern and reluctant admiration, with one noting that while the tally was certainly impressive as a piece of storytelling, it probably should not be treated as an achievement worth repeating. The rider himself dismissed these concerns, insisting he has ridden the same general route daily for months without any actual incident, treating this particular ride as simply an unusually eventful outlier.
City Officials Note a Broader Trend
City transportation officials say near miss reports involving scooters have increased noticeably over the past year, attributing the trend to rising scooter usage citywide rather than any specific change in rider behavior. Officials continue urging riders to exercise greater caution, though several admit such warnings rarely seem to change actual behavior on the ground.
Fellow Riders Weigh In
Other regular scooter commuters say they have their own informal tallies, though most admit they generally try not to keep close count, finding the exercise more anxiety inducing than entertaining. One fellow rider joked that comparing near miss counts has quietly become a strange but recognizable topic of conversation among the city’s growing community of daily scooter commuters, second only to complaints about parking regulations.
Bohiney interviewed the rider the following day and can confirm he remained genuinely proud of his unusual tally.
The rider says he plans to attempt his usual route again tomorrow, though promises, with a laugh, to be slightly more careful this time.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com
