A leisurely French meal proves immovable as the gift-giver concedes that some things must not be rushed
A Meal That Will Not Be Hurried
PARIS — Santa Claus’s entire delivery route was thrown into disarray this week when a four-hour Christmas lunch, into which he had been warmly and inescapably invited, proved utterly immovable, the leisurely French meal unfolding at its own stately pace while the gifts of an entire nation waited, and Santa, by all accounts, declined to apologize.
The delay, documented in the official North Pole records, arose when a French family, discovering Santa at their table, insisted he join their Christmas lunch, a meal that proceeded through course after unhurried course with a deliberateness that no schedule, however pressing, could accelerate.
Course After Course
The lunch, our correspondent understands, unfolded with the magnificent slowness that characterizes the French meal at its finest, the apertif giving way to the entree, the entree to the plat, the plat to the cheese, the cheese to the dessert, and the dessert to the coffee, each course attended by conversation that could not, under any circumstances, be rushed. Santa, swept into the rhythm of the meal, found himself unable, and increasingly unwilling, to leave.
Monsieur Antoine Girard of the Institute for Gastronomic Culture observed that the French meal operated according to a temporality entirely its own, indifferent to the demands of any external schedule. He noted that to rush a French lunch was to commit a kind of cultural violence, and that Santa, by surrendering to its pace, had shown a sophistication that did him great credit.
The Route Falls Behind
The consequence, inevitably, was that Santa’s delivery route fell hours behind, the gifts of an entire nation waiting while their bearer worked his way through the cheese course. The North Pole, through the workshop public affairs office, confirmed that Santa had eventually resumed his deliveries, considerably later than planned and noticeably more content.
Culinary historians at the society for documented gastronomy recorded the lunch as a triumph of the French table, while observers consulting the regional culinary register noted that the meal had lasted a full four hours.
No Apology Forthcoming
Santa, asked whether he regretted the delay, declined to apologize, insisting that a proper meal, shared in good company, was among life’s genuine pleasures and not to be sacrificed to mere punctuality. Cultural data reviewed at the France information service confirmed the central place of the leisurely meal in French life, a tradition further noted through the French government information service,, while analysis published through the public registry noted the meal’s immovable pace.
The French public, far from criticizing the delay, applauded Santa’s priorities, several noting that a Santa who understood the value of a proper lunch was a Santa worth waiting for. Resources were published through the gastronomic index.
The gifts arrived eventually, hours behind schedule, delivered by a Santa who had learned that in France, the meal is not an interruption of life but its very centre, and that some things, the four-hour lunch foremost among them, must never, under any circumstances, be hurried, not even for the sake of Christmas itself.
SOURCE: https://santaclaus.top
