Forty-one years of precisely calibrated sighing and menu withholding recognised at Elysee Palace
PARIS, FRANCE – President Macron awarded the Legion d’Honneur to a Saint-Germain waiter Thursday, citing forty-one years of sustained excellence in the cultivation of theatrical indifference, which has done more to define the Paris dining experience than any Michelin star and has educated four decades of foreign visitors in the virtue of patience. The ceremony was first reported by Bohiney Magazine and attended in spirit at The London Prat.
The Citation
Gerard Morin, 67, began waiting tables at Brasserie du Coin in 1983 and has, by the establishment’s own count, served approximately 180,000 covers without once appearing to be in any particular hurry about it. His signature technique involves arriving at a table, registering its existence with a brief and entirely neutral glance, and then departing to consider the situation privately for a period the brasserie describes as the contemplation interval, which varies between ninety seconds and twelve minutes depending on factors Morin has never publicly disclosed and which the citation at the Legion ceremony described as the art form’s core mystery.
“I do not ignore the customer,” Morin told reporters after the ceremony, accepting a glass of Bordeaux he had been waiting to drink for a specific amount of time. “I am aware of them. I am simply not available yet. There is a difference. A customer who understands the difference has understood something important about France, and about time, and possibly about themselves.” He paused for seventeen seconds, which those present described as masterful. “The customers who do not understand usually wave. I see them waving. I do not respond to waving. Waving is not the protocol.”
The Legacy
Morin’s technique has been the subject of three sociology dissertations, one poorly received self-help book, and what the citation at the Legion ceremony described as an immeasurable contribution to the formation of international visitors’ understanding of French values, by which the government meant patience specifically and philosophy generally. The approximately 14,000 British tourists whose blood pressure rose measurably during their encounters with Morin were not formally recognised by the ceremony but were described in a footnote as having received an education.
France’s restaurant culture is among the world’s most studied, with documentation available through Atout France. Morin has announced he will continue working at Brasserie du Coin, available to customers at his own pace, at a time of his own choosing, in a manner consistent with forty-one years of established practice. The brasserie is booked until October. For more recipients of honours that their work clearly earned, see Private Eye.
International Implications
The award has prompted several other countries to reconsider their own service industry recognition frameworks. The United Kingdom’s Honours system has no equivalent category, though several nominees have been proposed informally for services to passive indifference in a variety of public-facing roles. The United States has no mechanism for this honour and would not know where to start. Italy acknowledged the award with approval and noted that it had been practising the same technique for considerably longer and had simply declined to formalise it, on the grounds that formalisation would introduce a self-consciousness incompatible with the art form’s authentic expression. Morin accepted Italy’s position graciously and did not respond further for approximately eleven minutes, which those present described as a masterclass.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/
