Man With 847-Entry Dispute Log Has Never Lost a Remembered Conversation
PARIS — Antoine Vernier maintains a spreadsheet he began in 2019 containing 847 entries documenting arguments, disagreements, and disputed conversations with his partner, friends, colleagues, and on three occasions the RATP complaint line, including the date, the topic, the positions taken, the outcome, and what Antoine calls “the evidentiary record” — supporting messages, emails, or notes taken during the conversation.
“I’m not adversarial,” Antoine explained, opening the spreadsheet to demonstrate its structure, which is colour-coded by category and filterable by participant. “I have a good memory and I like accuracy. When someone says ‘you never said that,’ I can confirm whether I said that.” He filters to January 2023. He did say that. He also said the other thing, which the other party did not remember he’d said, which is documented in the adjacent column.
The Relationship Impact
Antoine’s partner has described the spreadsheet as “both the most romantic and least romantic thing about him, simultaneously.” The romantic dimension: he has documented 847 conversations in detail, which implies sustained attention and care. The unromantic dimension: the documentation is available for use in future disagreements, which changes the nature of the disagreements retroactively. Three arguments have been resolved by the spreadsheet’s evidence. Two have been extended by it.
According to Psychology Today’s conflict and memory research, relationship partners’ recall of disputed events differs significantly and systematically. The spreadsheet addresses the difference. The spreadsheet also creates new questions about what the documentation implies about trust. Both parties are aware.
Accurately on record at Virtuosal.com.
